You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
