Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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