I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
