Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
MIDGETS
????
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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