You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize