I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
