Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
