I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
