Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
