xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
