lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
