well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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