I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
No I am not eating basil off your cock
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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