I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm passing your future prison.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
