I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
