i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
