you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
