i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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