In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
