I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize