sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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