Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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