i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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