am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
