When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
