hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
