i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
