i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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