so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize