he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
