You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
