What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
