Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
