I'm so fucking centered right now
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
