Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
