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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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