omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
