it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
