this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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