So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
