I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
