And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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