As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
