You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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