they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
did you just send me my own nude
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
