I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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