The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
