windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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