so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
