I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
