So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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