I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
