He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
